Why women compete for men » Lavalife Personals

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Is it true love or hunger for power that drives them to go all out for the same man?
Most women are highly competitive by nature, and seem that men have an innate ability to bring out their most competitive streak without even meaning to. Although some women will gracefully bow out of they see that the man they have had their eye on is already involved with other woman, others will see this as a challenge that they can’t help but take on. In fact, for some, it renders the man in question even more desirable. But why is this? Why do women compete for men? To find answer for this question I have referred “Ask Diana” at Online Dating Guide/Service.

Love:
The most obvious and least offensive reason is that they’re deeply in love. If a woman truly believes that a certain man is “the one” and they are meant to be together, she may very well stop at nothing to ensure that they end up together. The fact that he is involved with someone else means nothing to her because, in her mind, he is with the wrong person (i.e. not her), he just doesn’t it yet.
She may try to seek out the other woman’s flows, insecurities and weaknesses, and exploit these to her advantage by bringing them to the man’s attention, thinking that making her look bad will make herself look good by default. She may even go as far as insulting or threatening the other woman, thinking that this will help her cause.
The truth is that while the man may be flattered that another woman is interested in him, such tactics will only make the interested party look disrespectful and aggressive, and will not help her cause at all. True love is not something that can be found using hateful or underhanded means.

Power:
An uglier side of female competition has nothing to do with love and everything to do with power. Unfortunately, there are many power-hungry women who would derive an unhealthy amount of satisfaction by taking away other woman’s man. That’s right: another woman’s loss at their hands would actually bring them joy.
More unsettling still is the fact the power-seeking woman may not even like the guy she is fighting for. And the worst part is that the guy in question will probably be the last to know. He may interpret her intense flirting as a sign of genuine interest, not realizing that he is merely a means to an end; her feeling of power.
A good way to tell whether the woman is genuinely interested or just hungry for power is to see how her reaction to you changes(if at all) depending on whether or not you are in a relationship with someone else. If she never displayed the least amount of interest when your relationship status was undetermined and was all over you once she discovered that you had a girlfriend, you may want to question why?

Forbidden Fruit:
The longing for someone who is off-limits is what draws other women to compete for a man. The fact that they can’t have certain man is precisely what makes them want him. Quite simply, they want what they can’t have.
Many factors, including wealth, looks and the fact that the man is involved, can make a man seem like forbidden fruit to woman. Just hinting that you are involved may make some woman want you even more. But do not forget that this action can have exactly the opposite effect on the few women left who actually respect other people and their relationship.

A Few Good Men:
Another reason woman may vie for a man’s attention is that they believe all the good guys are taken, meaning that any man that is involved with woman or being pursued must have it going. If a man is single, women assume there must be a good reason. This reasoning makes for a vicious cycle in which those who are singles remain so, and those who are attached often end up with inappropriate attention being lavished upon them.
On a lighter note, the good thing about this peculiar female reasoning is that guys just try to surround themselves with as many women as possible whenever they go out, as this will make them more appealing to women in general.

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Aussie Matchmaker » How To Be More Confident With Women

Self-confidence is a major factor which can determine the success of a man towards approaching a woman. It can make or break a relationship in a snap.

Self-confidence is generally defined as one’s view of himself, his capabilities and his potentials. There are men who are plainly wrong in giving all of their efforts to deliver what women want. This is wrong in the sense that one must love oneself before he can love others.

Courting and dating are pretty much like having a job interview. A job interview aims to assess one’s abilities and confidence. An applicant can actually make up stories about his experience and his talents, that’s why the employer assesses him mostly on how he presents himself and on his confidence. This is also the main principle behind being with women.

So how does one develop confidence towards women? Here are some ways on how a guy can be better in dealing with girls:

- Take some time out for yourself

Again, it all begins with oneself. If a guy has low confidence towards women, he might want to give himself some time away from women and stop trying for a while. He may want to list down the things that he doesn’t like with himself, his insecurities in life and his fears. He may then proceed into detailed assessment of the reasons behind such negative thoughts about himself. Then, he must propose solutions for his own betterment.
The solutions should be carried out with dedication and inspiration. This move will not only make a man more confident amidst women, but amidst anyone in general. If one sees oneself with beauty, then he will become more confident.

-Don’t be afraid of women

Some men are simply afraid of women. For some reason, even the thought of approaching women scares them. Hopefully, the first step can help solve this awful problem by assessing oneself and finding solutions to one’s insecurities. However, dealing with women is on a whole different level. Women speak a language that is different from what men use. Men and women also think and act differently. All these factors can scare a man away from women.

A man must know how to deal with women, he will use this skill eventually in romantic relationships. Having casual conversations with women friends, colleagues and acquaintances will give a man the much needed map towards a woman’s mind. The ability to smoothly talk with women can come in at a later time but this can only be done if one is comfortable with talking with the ladies.

- Listen to stories

There is more than one way to develop the skill in dealing with women. Talking to women and being comfortable around them can be an approach, but a man can also learn from other men. Men usually talk about shallow things when it comes to women, but there are moments when men’s talk is taken in a whole different level. Moments of sensibility attacks men and they share their wholesome experiences in dealing with women. One must be keen in listening to these stories and must not take them for granted.

-Try to lessen sexual thoughts

A man’s confidence can diminish if he thinks too much of sex. Guilt will then follow and the whole approach is ruined. A man must re-assess his goals if he wants to be successful in getting the girl whom he likes. Thinking too much of sex is definitely a wrong way to deal with women.

-Don’t be too needy

There are other things in life that are as equally important as women. A man must not destroy his life by trying too hard to get girls. Sometimes, when people don’t expect it, the best things come. A man should not take the pressure of getting girls to extent of leaving everything behind and making girls his number one priority. Some people marry, some stay single, and this is a reality that every man must accept. There are many ways to achieve fulfillment and happiness in life. This kind of philosophy can boost one’s confidence in women and will improve women’s view towards him.

Boosting one’s confidence towards women would require a personal commitment. It is not achieved by acquiring more wealth or by getting on a diet. A re-shaping of one’s own view of himself is the key element towards achieving this goal.


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Pick Up Guide is a new directory on the fine art of picking up members of the opposite sex. Visit us for our hundreds of articles on approaching women, getting phone numbers, conquering your shyness, and asking men or women out.

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Online dating tips, to help you survive internet dating

If you plan to search for your soul mate online like the 40 million other people in the world you should be aware of a few tips that will help you along the way. internet dating is a fast, safe and very easy way to meet people, so what do you need to know?

First off when you sign up to a dating site you need to fill out your personal information, such as age, height and body type. Do yourself a favor do not lie! It’s useless to lie about yourself, likes, dislikes, occupation, etc… If you ever plan on actually meeting people in person from internet dating services, then be honest.

Photos are very important if you plan to get as many responses as possible. Men especially will search through profiles with photos only and contact people based on their appearance, so it’s important to have a photo. Post a recent photo of yourself, not one that was taken 10 years ago, this can be deceiving if your appearance has changed. Ladies watch your email inbox fill up if you put a photo on your personal ad. The amount of emails you will receive will amaze you.

Try not to jump into sex talk in your profile too much, unless you are on a site like adultfriendfinder.com. People might be scared off if they think sex is your only reason to want to meet them. We are all sexual beings however keep the sex chat in the background in the beginning.

When you do find someone you are interested in take it slow! Send a few emails back and forth, chat on instant messenger then work up to a telephone conversation. Don’t ask to meet right away, and do not meet right away. You need to be smart and stay safe. When it comes time to meet in person, do so in a public place and take your own transportation. I’m not trying to scare you, it’s just important to be safe, while meeting people you know very little about.

Try not to discuss previous relationships as this is a big turn off for people. No one wants to hear about negativity especially when you are first getting to know someone. Be positive and your personality will shine.

If you have already starting searching through dating sites, you can see that their is an endless supply of men and women looking for casual dating , romance and marriage. It can be overwhelming to try to find something you like because now you have too many choices compared to the real world. Don’t get overwhelmed, this is easy to do. Write down what you are looking for and search for people who fit your requirements.

This might be a no brainer but do not ask someone to marry you when you first start corresponding with them. And don’t say that you love them or they are your soul mate right off the bat, this might not go over too well. You would be surprised at how many men do this! The bottom line use your common sense, be honest, take your time and have fun!


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